Why Don't You Get A Job?

Today was a signing-on day. Yes gentle reader, I am on the dole. Gosh, what fun that is. When I'm feeling a little insecure about my place in the world; when my apparent unemployability is really getting me down; then there is really nothing I like better than going to be patronised by a collection of morons, asked various personal questions and forced to express an interest in jobs for which I am so blatantly overqualified that nobody in their right mind would employ me to do them. All so that they'll give me some money. Oh, except that... despite my having finished work five weeks ago... despite the fact that they've had my claim for four of those weeks... despite repeated assurances that it will be dealt with soon I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN ANY MONEY!

Bastards.

Then I ate a whole tube of Pringles. Which did nothing for my sense of self-worth. In fact, the course of my life would actually be improved by the removal of today.