In which an Oxford graduate negotiates the turgid waters of the British employment market. And rants about it.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Moderately diverting way to spend five minutes

I freely admit to having stolen this from Adam. You stick iTunes/iPod/Windows Meeja Player/whatever on shuffle, and you ask it these thirteen questions:

1. What do you think of me, iTunes?
Expecting by the White Stripes.
Yes, I am demanding. Uncanny.

2. Will I have a happy life?
Open Your Heart, by Madonna
"I see you on the street and you walk on by/I hang my head and I want to cry". Oh.

3. What do my friends really think of me?
Love Will Bring Us Back Together by Darkflower.
Erm, OK.

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
I Only Feel It With You by Rebekah Ryan.
That's nice. Now who the hell are you and where can I find you?

5. What should I do with my life?
Rescue Me, by Madonna.
Erm, right. Who might you be? Are you the same as in Q4?

6. Why must life be so full of pain?
Dedicated to the One I Love by the Mamas and the Papas.
Well, I hope whoever that might be appreciates the bloody pain!

7. How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Otherside by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
"Slitting my throat". Forget that.

8. Will I ever have children?
Summer of '69 by Bryan Adams.
So either... I've got to go back in time and get knocked up in the autumn of '68 OR my chances of conception will be maximised by adopting a certain position as foreplay every time for three months. Riiiiight.

9. Will I die happy?
Get on Top by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
I think that's actually the answer to question 7.

10. Can you give me some advice?
You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet by Bachman-Turner Overdrive.
Well, that sort of makes sense... I'm still fairly young.

11. What do you think happiness is?
This Is How You Remind Me by Nickelback
That makes no sense at all. Read the question. Bad iTunes.

12. What's my favorite fetish?
We're Going to be Friends by the White Stripes.
I think we're getting to the end-of-exam slump here.

13. Am I a complete freak?
Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes.
Why so much White Stripes? Do they possess oracular powers?

All in all, I don't think this is going to be catching on as an alternative to tarot, tealeaves, or, indeed, just waiting to see what happens.


  • At 2:27 pm, Blogger rasteri said…

    Excerpt from when I had a go -

    9. Will I die happy?
    "in the bath" - by lemon jelly


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